Wednesday, March 31, 2010

~*~Black and White Wednesday~*~

What a wonderful day! Even not feeling well physically, I have been so recently overwhelmed with the feeling of being blessed. My love came home after being gone for 3 weeks, and my little family, day to day life, fell back into place. It just makes my heart swell to see how simple, yet how beautiful our lives are together! I could NOT ask for more.




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WHAT a SMILE!


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And although this isn’t the greatest picture to most… to ME it is priceless…




Joe was fixing the bottom of the door and Bry insisted on helping and asked a million questions. Just a cute a little moment that to most is meaningless but to me, will be trapped forever in my heart.


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the long road

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Of all the things…


Almost every day I find myself upset, angry or sad about something…. Something so trivial in my world of all the blessing I have. And I feel guilty because of it. So I thought I would recognize a few of the main things in my life that I am so blessed with.

First and foremost (and most simply) is my child. He is my savior. If I had never had him I would still probably be trapped in such a dark dangerous place. He brings me laughter and sunshine every day of my life. I look at him and I am overcome with emotion on a daily basis. Not only is he beautiful but he is ridiculously smart, oh so funny, and 100% boy!

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Second is the love of my life….I used to think in a perfect world we would have figured out how much we meant to one another sooner. We started out seeing each other for work one weekend a month. I looked forward to those days of work because I know I would spend the whole time laughing with him… I remember when my sons father proposed to me (thank god I never went through with that! lol) and I had my ring on one weekend… he gave me a long talk about how, ‘as a friend’, he was telling me how bad he was for me… He was right.

We really got to know each other the month of October 2006, that month he also found out his girlfriend was pregnant… being the man he is he married her. At this point he was my best friend, but his wife wanted nothing to do with me; she could obviously see more than we could at the time! I didn’t want to be the downfall or the cause of any sadness or hostility in his marriage, so I said goodbye to our friendship. Life took up its normal place and the days went by… I ended up pregnant and realized I needed more, I left my sons father, found a good job working full time for the national guard, had my little boy, and was building my life better than I really thought I would be able to…



Little did I know my love was also rebuilding his life at this time, and had found a job in the same building (different department) as myself…. I can remember every single detail of the day we ran into each other in the hall… It never felt better to find an old friend. We ended up going to lunch with each other a few times and emailing each other all day every day. One day I mentioned that I was moving and he offered to help me pack… He always was such a gentleman and so helpful. I of course took him up on this offer. We ended up packing nothing at all… we sat on my couch and ate pizza and talked all night long, talking led to kissing and the rest… well the rest is NOT history. The rest is NOW, and I hope every day. We definitely have our ups and downs… we both deal with life in the aspect that we both have children and ex’s who we haven’t found a way to fully get along with yet, which makes life very stressful, and not at all how either one of us ever pictured our lives being… but it is…and the hard times WILL get easier and mostly we have three beautiful children between the two of us that I know neither one of us would trade for the world….



Two years later and I still get that overwhelming feeling when we are together where I feel like I’m going to explode with the amount of love I feel for him… I wish I could just breathe him in and hold him in forever. He is absolutely my best friend and the love of my life.

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I have an amazing, caring, crazy, mental, fun, family that I wouldn’t trade in for anything in the world!

I have a supportive Mommy who I know would do anything in her power for me if I needed it.

She married a man when I was about 5 that is my DADDY, I named my son after him… blood is nothing in my eyes, and he’s number one reason why. I am his daughter and he is my dad. Plain and Simple.

I am also lucky to be graced with a little sister that I am 10 years her senior! Despite the age difference and her crazy attitude, she is one of the most beautiful little girls I know, that is growing into a smart, STRONG woman, that I love very much. I also have an older cousin that I was mostly raised with that is closer to me in age… people ask constantly if we are sisters, and honestly we should just start telling them YES! Bc in a way, we are. She has also blessed me with a gorgeous nephew (2nd cousin! Whatever! Lol) who is 5 and seriously one of the cutest little boys I know.



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My darling cousin.

We also share the military with one another, and don’t doubt for one second even when we are out in a windy, wet, freezing desert we won’t find a way to have fun together!


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and her beautiful little man




My love and my family are my best friends, but when they are the ones that are driving me crazy I’m grateful to have friends. I have friends that go all the way back to my earliest childhood memories, that still grace my life now



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I have friends that I did stupid and crazy and completely unforgettable things with through my school years.

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And I have friends that I made as an adult who just happened to be crossing the same path at the same time


I have other friends that I am blessed to say are a part of my life. Even if we don’t talk every day, I love and I am grateful for in every way.

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This is getting longer than I expected but I can’t stop without a few more things :)



My job. My coworkers.

Seriously are like my second family. I dread the day that any one of them moves on or retires, or even I decided to move on and retire. We have been through a lot as an ‘office’ and I can honestly say I love each person that works directly in my office. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have found a job that surrounds me with such good people and takes such good care of me.




My house. Which I wouldn’t have with my JOB!! Lol

As an unmarried mother at the age of 22 in a failing economy I was blessed enough to find a beautiful little starter home to let my love grow!



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With my home I have a great backyard that is the playground of two silly, clumsy, stupid (I say that caringly!) puppies. The big black one was a pound puppy that I adopted at a time in my life where I really shouldn’t have had a dog, but couldn’t resist his big sad eyes. His name is Diego.

And the little brown one is actually now a HUGE brown one lol. He’s kinda fat, but he’s as happy as… well as a DOG! Lol His name is Drama, and its completely fitting

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they are two peas in a pod and absolutely the best of friends



So now on days when I am sad, or angry, or bitter about something, I can come back here and remind myself to let the little things roll down like drops of rain on a pane of glass bc when it’s raining it’s probably only making my grass greener! And even with the rain it’s all still SO beautiful, and I simply couldn’t ask for more!





Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Black & White Wednesday

So I found The Long Road to China on another friends' Blog and haven't been able to help but follow it, so I thought I would join in this week....


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These are from almost two years ago now... I can't even begin to try and wonder where all the time has gone... A close friend took my little man and me out to a local park just before his first birthday and just let him go... So many of the pictures turned out so much better than expected.


I can't believe he's going to be three this year....




http://thelongroadtochina.blogspot.com/

Monday, March 22, 2010

17 days down…

...4 ½ days to go! Urgh… I have no idea how I will even begin to handle 400 days when I can barely handle 20 some odd days! My loving Boyfriend has been away at a military school and comes home this Saturday… I hate every minute that passes without him, but in the same instant I love every minute that passes because I know that’s one minute closer until I get to see him again.

Life at home without him has been completely upside-down, the first few days he was gone, bedtime was so…so sad. Bedtime comes VERY easy in our home… I am extremely blessed with a 2 year old who loves to sleep as much as mommy does, and its never a fight, but we do have a routine…disrupt that and everything changes. Every night my poor baby was so worried where Joe was, crying in bed that he NEEDED to say goodnight. Broke my heart, although, it only took a few days for him to get past bedtime. Thank goodness. Now his crazy over active adorable imagination is in over drive and he’s been ‘talking’ to his our sweet Joe… In the cutest, most innocent, excited little boy voice you can imagine, he came running to me with his fake phone propped in his shoulder saying, ‘Oooh! You’re in the car?? You’re comin home now!!?? Mommy! Joe’s comin home now!!’

As you will come to learn, if you don’t already know I am EXTREMELY sensitive and it doesn’t take much to make me cry… So, even though it filled my heart that he loves him so much, it brought on the tears. It made me feel like the bad guy to have to tell him ‘No sweetie… he’s not comin home yet….’ It was like I broke his favorite toy right in front of him…

SOO! To try to save ourselves from missing him more than we need to, any time that falls outside our normal schedule, I’ve been trying to fill with fun and random things! We’ve been pretty busy, me and my little guy!

Tonight we made brownies and Nanna house… by WE, I really mean, ME, and he just licked the spoon!



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Friday, March 19, 2010

Starting from the middle

I have seen and read a million Blogs… and more than a few have inspired me in one way or another. I don’t have any major goals at ‘inspiring’ anyone in particular by writing my own. My one goal is to inspire myself.

My favorite blogs are the ones people keep on their families… their own personal lives. Not embellishing anything or intentionally giving their opinions on life… Just family. Just life. I figured since I keep track of every other thing in my life online or on my computer… why not my family? Why not my life? A story and a history I can forever look back on and remember when my baby was still small… where I was in life, new and exciting milestones we will reach as a family. Maybe something my son can come to when he’s older, just to look at and help him remember things?


This is a new age… a new time where this is how things are tracked and recorded. And I don’t want my family or my life to be forgotten. Especially by myself.
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